after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm passing your future prison.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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