Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
