I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
