so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
