So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
