We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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