I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
