I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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