lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
