Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
