Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
