$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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