It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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