Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
