I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
