you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize