you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
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