let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
