He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
