I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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