why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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