I bet he comes in French.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
