don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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