Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
