haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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