you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i think i have two assholes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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