She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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