he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
two words: eviction party
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
