Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
