Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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