i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
