I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wish you could order shots online.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
