please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
