butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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