Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
