There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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