yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
