i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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