you would pick up someone in the library
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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