I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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