i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
