1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
