I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
