So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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