you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's blow job season.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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