Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
