I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
