It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm at about main and main street
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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