were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
