ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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