My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize