Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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