with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
