Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
