Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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