he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
