I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
