is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
