I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize