How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
