If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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