...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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